This is how grief is for me.
I have this book of quotes, and every now and then, when I pass it by, I open it to a random page to read the quote. The first quote I got today was this:
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
I thought about how true that was. I thought about how I have been looking this whole time at the closed door. At the boy who is no longer here. At the life he missed. At the life we missed. And I vowed to remember to look at the open doors. Like the wonderful celebration of community and generosity at our concert. Like the Dragon Kim Foundation. Like all the love from our family and friends.
A bit uplifted, I opened the quote book again. The second quote I got today was this:
If you live to be one hundred, I want to live to be one hundred minus one day, so that I would never have to live one day without you.
A torrent of tears.
Why do I have to live even one day without Dragon?